i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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