i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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