I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
