I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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