Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
