OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
