so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize