My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
