she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
soo... how was my night?
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