You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
