what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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