Need sex. Gaining weight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
why do cheetos always look like penises
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
