Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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