maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
