I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
