Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
