honey bunches of taint.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
