Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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