On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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