I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
