Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize