I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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