She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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