I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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