You can't motorboat a personality
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
