Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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