She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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