Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize