my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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