I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
