When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
