Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
