In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
