I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
