Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
