ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am spending my child support on dildos
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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