By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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