..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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