My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
