we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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