I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
