There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
