arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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