The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
