"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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