I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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