whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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