forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
