I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
