wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
