I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
