After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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