I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
