You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
