Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
