To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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