Church boner. Awkwardddd
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
